Piece Name:  RanchoGatekeepPlenty.mp3
Artist Name: Dan Hendricks
License:  Creative Commons Attribution Non Commercial 1.0

Methods:

Convert first 30 words of rndtxt.txt into speech with text-to-speech converter, using various language/sex combinations.
Import entire rndtxt.txt file into wave editor software as PCM stereo wave file, adjusting pitch/speed until it sounds right.
Mix speech files at various speeds & granulations together with imported/pitched wave file.